I will leave much aside ... I do not want that anymore, it's stupid to leave it, but I do not like it anymore, it contains things from the past, a lot of time, many stories, I can not do anything, my time is little, I almost feel that it's out of hand, I'm afraid it's going away, and I can no longer enjoy the heat it gives me, the joy, and the desire to continue. I often think of yesterday, of what I was before and I try to imagine what it was really like, what always comes to my mind is that yesterday's time was beautiful, pretty, I imagine what would have happened if it did not end. I imagine everything as if it had been all perfection, but I do not know what else to think ... I still believe that I could be under his shadow, I fear not being able to leave, being a small, tiny being compared to her, I am afraid of being under what she was. Sometimes I even believe that I look like some things, I'm afraid and that's why I have to leave them, ways of speaking, gestures, music (my greatest adoration, I was afraid to come to this, to leave what I most adore simply for her, I have come to hate one of the songs that I loved the most, one that had marked a stage in my life, a happy moment, now I hate that song, I listen to it, but it is not like before, before, it filled my heart to hear it, now only I feel an emptiness, I just hate her, I listen to her, and I can only think of her singing to him ... If I think about her, everything goes to hell, I can no longer imagine myself with him at any time, I just think I'm there, but he does not see me, but he sees her, I think I'm a simple object of distraction, I think I'm just there to calm your carnal desires, that when we intimate, see her face in me. I think ... Really he does not feel anything for me ...